If you are going through a divorce or separation, it is imperative to establish protocols that anticipate future challenges. This is especially important when children are involved. A well-structured parenting plan promotes stability, consistency, and cooperation, reducing future disputes and potentially saving significant legal costs. The goal of a good parenting plan is always to put the child’s best interests first, ensuring they have the foundation for a secure and supportive environment despite the changes in their family structure.
What is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a formal agreement between co-parents that outlines the rights, responsibilities, and schedules for parenting arrangements after separation or divorce. In Ontario, such a plan provides structure, clarity, and legal enforceability in addressing the needs and well-being of the children involved. By outlining the key procedures of parenting, a well-structured plan provides a reliable framework for both parents to follow.
A parenting plan is a formal agreement between co-parents that outlines responsibilities, rights, and schedules for child care after separation or divorce. In Ontario, a parenting plan provides structure and clarity, making it easier for parents to navigate co-parenting while prioritizing their children’s well-being. A properly crafted plan can also be legally enforceable if:
- It is included in a court order under the Divorce Act or Children’s Law Reform Act; or
- Is in writing, signed by both parents, and their signatures are witnessed.
Key Elements of a Parenting Plan
While every parenting plan should be tailored to the unique needs of the family, several essential elements should generally be included.
Parenting Time
One of the most critical aspects of a parenting plan is determining how time with the child will be divided. This should consider each parent’s work schedule, the child’s school routine, and other relevant factors. For example, one party may work long hours during the week, so it may be better for the children if they spend most weekdays with the other party.
Each family’s situation is different, and there are various scheduling models that may work. It is imperative that you think these issues through with your co-parent, and maintain a flexible stance, focused on the best interests of your children. Some examples of common scheduling modes include:
- Biweekly rotation – The child spends one week with one parent and the following week with the other.
- 2-2-5-5 rotation – Two days with one parent, two with the other, followed by five days with each.
- 2-2-3 rotation – Two days with each parent, followed by a three-day weekend with one parent, alternating each week.
Other parenting time concerns which should also be discussed include:
- Holidays and vacations – Agreements on special occasions like Christmas, Thanksgiving, school breaks, and birthdays.
- Transportation arrangements – Details on drop-offs, pick-ups, and exchange locations to minimize disputes.
- Flexibility clause – Allowing changes to the scheduled parenting time as long as both parents agree in advance, promoting cooperation and reducing unnecessary conflict.
Decision-Making Responsibilities
Secondary only to determining the parenting time, determining the allocation of decision-making responsibility should be a primary concern to those drafting a parenting plan. Decision-Making Responsibility (DMR), formerly known as custody, refers to a parent’s authority to make significant decisions about a child’s upbringing, including:
- Education – School enrollment, tutoring, and special education needs.
- Healthcare – Medical, dental, and mental health decisions, as well as how medical expenses will be shared.
- Religious and cultural upbringing – Agreements on religious practices and participation in cultural traditions.
- Extracurricular activities – Which activities the child will participate in and how costs will be managed.
There are several ways to allocate DMR between the parties including:
- Sole DMR: One parent makes all major decisions for the child. The other parent may or may not have parenting time.
- Joint DMR: Both parents share decision-making authority, regardless of the time the child spends with each parent.
- Split DMR: Different children in the family have different parents making decisions for them.
If co-parents are concerned about potential future conflict, it may be prudent include provisions stating that in the event of a disagreement, the parties will follow the recommendations of a relevant child professional. Such terms are common in DMR arrangements and provide an additional safeguard against future conflict and re-litigation.
Communication Protocols
Central to successful co-parenting is clear and respectful communication. A parenting plan should set expectations for:
- Parent-to-parent communication – Preferred methods (e.g., phone, email, text), frequency, and purpose.
- Child-related updates – How and when parents will share information about school, medical matters, and daily activities.
- Emergency contact – The protocol for urgent matters regarding the child.
Consistency Between Households
Routine and stability are major factors that the court ahs recognized as being relevant when considering the best interest of a child. While each parent’s household may have differences, establishing some consistency is extremely important, especially if the children are young. The parenting plan should outline expectations for:
- Homework routines – Ensuring consistency in schoolwork and study habits.
- Bedtimes and meals – Promoting a stable daily schedule.
- Discipline and supervision – Establishing common approaches to behavioral expectations.
Introducing Romantic Partners
New relationships can be a sensitive topic in co-parenting. The parenting plan should contemplate this eventuality, and include guidelines on:
- When and how a new partner will be introduced to the child.
- Any waiting period before introductions occur.
- Agreements on the involvement of romantic partners in parenting responsibilities.
Parental Conduct and Conflict Resolution
A well-functioning co-parenting relationship requires mutual respect. In cases where there has been a history of one or both parties having issues keeping their communications civil, a good parenting plan should do its utmost to account for these difficulties, including terms on:
- Parental behavior expectations – Encouraging respectful interactions, particularly in front of the child.
- Dispute resolution – Steps for resolving disagreements, such as mediation before taking legal action.
- Review and modification – Allowing for periodic reassessment of the plan as the child’s needs evolve.
- Special Considerations: Travel, Relocation, and Emergency Plans
- Travel and vacations – Procedures for obtaining consent and notifying the other parent.
- Relocation – Notification requirements and restrictions if a parent wishes to move with the child.
- Emergency and safety protocols – Clear procedures for handling medical or safety emergencies.
Ensuring Long-Term Success
A parenting plan should be a living document that adapts to the child’s evolving needs and family circumstances. Including a periodic review clause ensures necessary adjustments over time. If disagreements arise, mediation can be an effective tool for resolving conflicts before resorting to litigation.
Ultimately, the most important aspect of any parenting plan is prioritizing the child’s well-being. A structured, well-thought-out plan minimizes conflict and fosters a cooperative co-parenting relationship, ensuring children feel secure, supported, and loved throughout their upbringing.
Written by Caidan Ubell