Co-Parenting and access to technology: common issues
If you are a co-parent, you likely understand the importance of presenting a unified front with your former partner. When one parent undermines the other’s discipline, it can lead to the child harboring negative feelings toward the stricter parent and may even be viewed as alienating behavior by the court. This is especially important when it comes to co-parenting screen time and setting consistent rules.
One common area of disagreement among co-parents today is the extent to which children should have access to screens and social media. This is a complex issue, as there are valid arguments on both sides as screen time and social media can have both positive and negative effects on a child’s well-being. In this article, I will outline common disputes regarding children’s technology use and suggest ways to resolve them.
Factors to consider
As with any family law matter involving children, the best interests of the child are always the court’s primary concern. However, when it comes to screen time and social media, determining what is in a child’s best interest can be challenging.
Some studies have found a clear link between increased screen time in teens and a higher likelihood of depression and anxiety.[1]
other research has highlighted benefits of screen time in moderation, including improvements in educational development, digital literacy, social connection, and self-expression.[2] Excessively policing a child’s social media use can make them feel socially isolated from their peers, which may even lead to bullying or ostracization. Co-parents must find a delicate balance that serves the child’s best interests.
It is crucial for co-parents to discuss this issue openly and establish clear boundaries. The most effective co-parenting happens when both parties communicate honestly, respectfully, and with the child’s well-being in mind.
As a helpful guideline, the World Health Organization [3] and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry[4] provide general recommendations on screen time for different age groups. In a nutshell, they recommend that prior to the age of 5 a child’s screen time should be limited to 1 hour per day of high quality, parent approved programming. From the ages of six to twelve, the important factor is that whatever screen time limitations you and your co-parent agree upon are enforced consistently between households. For teens, they recommend that they spend less than 2 hours per day in front of a screen. It is critical that, across all ages, screen time does not impact the child’s sleep or physical activity.
However, much like the CCSA’s recommendation that adults limit alcohol consumption to two drinks per week, real-life habits often differ from official guidelines. While restricting a teenager’s screen time can feel like trying to stop a runaway train, it is important to have open and honest conversations with them about the potential effects of excessive use. A child is more likely to respect screen time boundaries when they understand that both parents have their best interests at heart.
Another key consideration is the screen usage of the parents themselves. Children model their behavior after their caregivers, so setting healthy screen boundaries for yourself is just as important as enforcing them for your child. If necessary, this may also be a topic to discuss with your co-parent—so long as the conversation remains respectful and child-focused.
How to Argue Screen Time with Co-parent
If your co-parent is not enforcing reasonable screen time rules, you may need to seek court intervention. Typically, disputes over screen time are part of broader co-parenting disagreements rather than standalone legal claims.
To make a successful argument for screen time restrictions in court, you must establish:
- The specific harm caused by excessive screen use. This could include concerns about your child’s mental health, academic performance, or the deterioration of their relationship with you if you are the only parent enforcing limits.
- A proposed remedy. This might include a clearly worded agreement outlining screen time rules for both households.
- Potential modifications to decision-making responsibility. If one parent persistently refuses to enforce reasonable limits, the court may grant the other parent the authority to make final decisions on technology use.
Depending on the complexity of the dispute, expert evidence may strengthen your case. A report from a psychologist, teacher, or counselor addressing the impact of excessive screen time on your child may be helpful in persuading the court.
Conclusion
Screens are becoming an unavoidable part of daily life—for children and parents alike. While technology can offer educational benefits, social connections, and entertainment, excessive or unregulated use can also pose risks to a child’s well-being. Co-parents must work together to set appropriate boundaries that align with their child’s needs and best interests.
If disagreements arise, open and respectful communication is the best first step. Consistency between households is crucial, as differing rules can create confusion for the child and lead to unnecessary conflict between parents. If an agreement cannot be reached, mediation or legal intervention may be necessary to establish clear and enforceable guidelines.
Ultimately, successful co-parenting requires a cooperative approach, where both parents acknowledge the evolving role of technology in their child’s life while ensuring that screen time does not interfere with their development, health, or relationships. If you are facing ongoing disputes over screen time, consulting an experienced family law lawyer can provide guidance on your legal options and help you navigate the complexities of co-parenting in the digital age.
[1] Jean M. Twenge & W. Keith Campbell: “Associations Between Screen Time and Lower Psychological Well-being Among Children and Adolescents: Evidence From a Population-based Study”. 12 Preventative Med. Reps. 271 (2018)
[2] Pappas, S. What do we really know about children and screens? Monitor on Psychology, (2022) 51(3).
[3] Guidelines on physical activity, sedentary behaviour and sleep for children under 5 years of age; World Health Organization, (2019).
[4] Media Use and Screen Time – Its Impact on Children, Adolescents, and Families. American College of Pediatricians (2020).
Written by Caiden Ubell
Need Help Resolving a Co-Parenting Tech Dispute?
Whether you’re facing challenges with inconsistent screen time rules or ongoing disagreements about your child’s social media use, our team at Progressive Legal Solutions can help. We’ll work with you to develop practical legal strategies and agreements that prioritize your child’s well-being. Contact us today to book a consultation and bring clarity to your co-parenting plan.